I remember my excitement when I found out about Surfing Mums. It was on a trip to Crescent Head when I was about 5 months pregnant. I had been surfing so much during my pregnancy as I was sure my surfing days would be behind me once the baby got here. In that serendipitous moment standing in the laundromat at Crescent Head I saw a poster for Surfing Mums and suddenly my upcoming maternity leave started to look at lot rosier.

As soon as I was given the all clear by my pelvic physio I packed up my tiny baby and a beach bag and headed off to my first meet. My dreams of gently kissing my little darling on the forehead as I skipped towards the waves were short lived. To say my son was not enthusiastic about the situation is an understatement. The guilt I felt at leaving my tiny, precious baby with a bunch of people I didn’t really know was only surpassed by the guilt I felt at leaving an unsuspecting bunch of people with my tiny, screaming demon nugget.

I remember the anxiety and the guilt of those first few meets, and then a few more in between as he went through the various stages of separation anxiety.

You too may be reading this and relating to these emotions, wondering “so how do I get my child to enjoy this?” because lets be honest, if they are miserable they are bringing you down with them.  So we have asked our Surfing Mums hive mind to share their pearls of wisdom on settling you and your kids into surfing mums.

 There are some tips that are almost universal across all age groups

• Bring more snacks than you think you will need, and save the best snack for when you are about to head off for a surf, nothing takes away the bitter taste of separation like a chocolate chip cookie (no one is judging you for feeding your kid sugar if it gets you an hour in the surf)
• Bring a picnic blanket so that you can create a space for them, with their snacks and toys.
• Toys – it may be useful to have some special surfing mums toys to help entice them – things like a special bucket and spade or digger that they can use at Surfing Mums.
• See what the other kids are into. For example most of the kids at my local group ride balance bikes and scooters, bring a similar toy so that they can join in on the activity.
• Come regularly. Try to commit to coming regularly so that your child has the opportunity to build relationships with other children or with the adult care givers. Being comfortable in the group environment is key to your child have a good time.  

There are plenty more fab tips at the bottom of this article so keep reading.  

For the mums

You may be reading this list thinking “but I have done all that and they still don’t enjoy it” but I ask you, how does that hour in the water make you feel?  Does that help fill your cup?  It may take time for your little one to get on board, but I assure you they will.  I like to think of a quote I once read that I think is very relevant to Surfing Mums “in the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy too”. It is not selfish to want to do something that you love, in the end you will be a better parent for taking that time to fill your own cup.

Speaking from my own experience, my once reluctant child now counts down the days until he can go to Surfing Mums to hang out with his little buddies. He has forged relationships with kids of all ages. The older kids have taught him how to push himself on the swings and he in turn has passed on his balance biking pearls of wisdom to the ones younger than him. This is free play at its finest. I could not wish for a more idyllic childhood experience for my two children. I am so thankful to be part of this beautiful Surfing Mums community who have helped me along the way.    

More tips from the hive mind 

“One thing that I’ve noticed that seems to help separation anxiety with kids that can speak is asking them as you are heading out for your surf “how many waves can I catch?” It gives them a feeling of control over the situation. “Ok I will come straight back in after I catch 3 waves” … Spoiler, they don’t actually sit there and count your waves so catch as many as you can.”

“Regularity - the kids that love surf mums the most come often and get used to it, they get to know the other kids and mums!"

“For unsettled babies and kids… Distraction!! Give them something, anything else to focus on... Cuddles, calm and listen to a toddler’s needs... Re-assure them that mum will come back soon and then distract them!!
My kids’ favourite toys are the shells and sticks, taking them for walks over the rock pools to see what they can see, do inclusive activities that can entertain all of the kids or get the older children to pair up with a smaller child and help them with the toys or activity.
The best thing about Surfing Mums, is that you can leave the kids with familiar people for some surf time without ever really leaving your sight... The first few times you feel a little guilty... But this fades quickly and you can always be called in if your little one isn’t settling well.”

“Hide and seek and race games for the older kids are always a win”

“… Definitely the “how many waves can Mummy get” (not that Mummy ever listens to the “one wave” reply!) And also bringing some books as the kids love stopping bike riding/ scooting etc just for a bit of down time and cuddles. Getting the older kids to “help with the babies” can distract the newer yet slightly older kids. And a few games of ‘What’s the time Mr Wolf’ was always a winner.”

“Lots of snacks! And water play with a bunnings bucket and beach toys. Taking them for a little beach walk to explore or collect shells. Singing nursery rhymes for littler ones while rocking in carrier - seems to have worked so far”

“Many parents are happy using a baby carrier if it helps your bub settle, we're also happy to rock your pram or walk them around. Also, it's a little like day care, most of the time they're fine once you leave.”

“I love to sing songs for the younger kids, it always seems to be a perfect distraction. Sometimes they really are just happiest sitting on your lap, being in a carrier, or being taken for a walk. The great thing about the older kids is they tend to play together really well, but for the newbies it's super helpful to introduce them to friend or talk to them about their favourite topic (usually themselves!!!)”

“As a previous child and family worker and youth worker I was used to running games when kids need it to stimulate play or set little fun challenges to redirect attention if kids need it such as an obstacle course drawn in the sand. I have a school age kid now but always took chalk for drawing or I would draw hopscotch or hand ball and teach it or take a few toy cars and draw a car track if we were in a playground or under a surf club. A surf bucket with some water and smaller buckets is fun water play for young ones too. I would settle a kid with attention to an activity they were interested in until they were engaged and could play on their own or with the others. Once the kids got older a boogie board to slide down the dunes was a winner or they were able to engage in self-directed nature play which is a great outcome and something I am so grateful for.”

"I think it's being realistic that you won't necessarily get to have an adult conversation that isn't broken up with the other mums while you are on child minding duties. It is very busy minding the kids, especially different ages as they all have different needs and it's WORTH it!"

"[For a child over 2 years] Perhaps attend a meet up or 2 without swapping to get them used to the other kids. Check out what the group does and what you need to bring. Meeting on the beach - bring sand toys, or if meeting at a park maybe they all ride scooters, be prepared so your child can participate with the others."