Freedom and Eny: The Journey of a Surfing Mum

By Shamila Millard (Byron Bay Surfing Mum)

 

In Canada, they called me a 'keener'. The type of snowboarder who has to go up the mountain every single day no matter what the conditions... some might call it compulsive but that was the way that I approached surfing right from the first day that I started. I had been surfing very 'keenly' for over a year when I became pregnant.
Despite the pleas of my mother-in-law, I continued surfing for as long as my baby bump would permit (about 6 or 7 months). Being a very active person, the slowing down process that my pregnancy required did not come easily.. First I gave up martial arts, then teaching dance, teaching outdoor education, then working as a masseuse but I I just couldn't stand watching my partner, Ben catching waves while I waited on the beach...walking bored me, yoga seemed tedious...so I bought an inflatable surf matt, slowing deflating it as I grew closer to 9 months.

The birth of my daughter was totally amazing and very full on!!
Physically, I have never been so depleted in my whole life (one of the many parts of motherhood i had no idea about!). So I continued to be envious of Ben's surfing pursuits. 5 weeks after Mahlia's birth, on my birthday, I went for a surf, and for the first time ever I had to be coaxed in!! Something had changed! I was reluctant, out of shape, had new found fear, and couldn't 'pop-up' anymore!

Standing on the beach red faced, with a tired, hot and hungry baby eventually provided the motivation to get back in the water. Ben and I made a deal, if they were small waves, I'd go out first, and if it was big, he would. Somehow we always seemed to end up at fast beach breaks with big waves and I would find myself getting thrown around in the white wash, confidence level declining.

Then came the 'full moon boys only surf and camping trip'. This whole concept was more than enough to send me green with envy. "I know its important to spend some time with only the guys, darling, but IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!" Any women's activity that I had participated in the last year included a baby being attached to me and there was certainly no midnight moonlit surfs or backpacking to secluded beaches with surfboards. Trying hard not to be the 'fun police' I conceded to the trip.

Then down in these depths of frustration I hatched a plan to start a surfing group. I made a list and tried spreading the word.. but none of my friends with bubs were really that into surfing... .. I was really at a low point. I had all the time in the world to go to the beach but I couldn't surf with my one year old! Then, like a rainbow after the storm, I discovered that there were other 'keener' mums out there! There was all ready a whole group of amazing and organised surfing mums (and they even had a fancy website). I was so excited to go to my fist meeting. It really caused a quantum shift in my consciousness. Suddenly I had the opportunity to surf every day of the week if I so pleased! What freedom!

Adapting to the changes a new baby brings can be one of the most challenging times in a woman's life, especially if you were really active before your pregnancy. Negotiating 'baby -free' time is so important and often not so easy (especially for single mums and those with good support). Now surfing mums are starting a revolution!
Surfing mums are creating new communities, having fun, staying fit, networking, playing with gorgeous children in the sand, preventing post-natal depression and catching waves! It's true, a surfing mum is a happy mum!